A darker love
by Cupofthoughts
Summary: With a broken heart and no place to go Natalie wanders off into Joker's den. The innocent meets the devil, how can she escape his world when he intends her to stay? Rated M for possible lemon, rape and language. JokerXOC
1. Chapter 1

Perhaps today was a very unlucky day for me, a simple situation of being in the wrong time and the wrong place. That or I have either failed to realise how crime-filled Gotham city is or how sheltered I've been living my whole life.

_-{Flashback: Four hours ago}-_

_I looked at my ashamed mother as she walked into the kitchen hiding her disappointment in me, why isn't she supporting me? I looked into my dad's eyes for support, I shouldn't have. _

"_Darling, he is your teacher and he's married!" 'Where are they? I know he's married...'_

"_But he loves me! He said he'll divorce his wife!" 'Please dad...'_

"_How can you be so naive? To him you are just a toy!"'A toy! I'm your daughter...'_

"_How can you say that? You don't understand him like I do!"_

"_We don't need to, we are your parents! Look, we've made up our minds sending you to Australia to study. Hasn't this been what you've wanted?" 'No, that's not I want from you...'_

"_I won't leave him if that's what you've been implying!"_

"_Why are you so stupid?" 'How can you say that to your own daughter?'_

"_It runs in the family dad." _

_-}:{-_

_I couldn't look at him anymore so I chose to run away. It was true, I know Mr. Adam is a married man but I was the one that fell in love with him. He was the one that responded to my confession. He's my first love and my only love..._

_So why am I feeling scared? Walking in the streets of Gotham at night was so different, why did everything look so much scarier? I heard some clattering noise and immediately reacted. I needed to get to his house. _

_-}:{-_

_The door opened slowly, the sense of being in his arms again and making me feel safe came into my head. His hands ran up his hair as he opened the door, my heart began to warm..._

_Until I heard 'her' voice..._

"_Darling, who is it?" _

"_Probably the pizza-guy honey." _

_I looked at his face as he turned to my direction at the door. Why was his wife still there? _

"_James..."_

"_I'm sorry Natalie, this isn't the best time."_

"_I got kicked out." 'A fight with my parents because of you, while you are happily with your wife...'_

"_Look sweetie, I can't let you in...she's inside. We'll talk about this tomorrow at school okay?"_

'_What about me then? I'm homeless...I have nowhere else to go.'_

"_Darling...The one inside me isn't going to be fed magically!" 'What!'_

"_You'll have to wait a little longer, it isn't the pizza-guy...just a stranger."_

_SLAM_

_-}:{-_

_Why didn't I listen to my dad? Why has it come to this? He won't ever leave her will he? That woman has his child. I can't separate a family..._

_He didn't even love me...he didn't even let me in..._

_Where can I go now?_

_-}:{-_


	2. Chapter 2

_I walked further into the streets, I had no place to go and I had just enough money for a nights' stay. But I knew I couldn't risk it, the possibility of me living in the outside world for more than a day felt more likely. It has already barely been two hours since I left my home, my stubbornness of not wanting to go home decreased but not enough to accept my foolishness and face my parents. In my 17 years of growing in Gotham, I've learnt the ways of becoming an obedient and well-mannered daughter my parents taught me to be. But there was nothing I've learnt that would tell me what to do when a situation like this would come, the day that I step into reality._

_The luggage bag I took obviously was a bad choice, it was heavy and it made a lot of noise as the wheels couldn't take the rough road. I mentally laughed, no wonder my own father called me stupid. _

_I finally came to a place that looked decently enough to say it was a park. I took a seat on the bench and waited for the sun to come up. It was a silly idea, but perhaps it was what I needed. I needed time and space alone, think about things and mentally sort things through._

_GRUMBLE_

_The thoughts of sorting slowly turned into thoughts of food, a home-cooked meal and then family... _

_I missed my family already...I rather continue to live a boring sheltered life than live in this cold reality of running away from home. Slowly I felt the wet blurriness in my eyes and I couldn't help but wait for them to fall onto my cheeks, as if waiting for my hands to wipe them._

_SCREECHHHHHH_

_I instantly looked towards the direction the sound came from. A white van stopped in front of my eyes, a shiver went up my spine as my instincts told me to take my leave this instant. _

_I quickly grabbed the handle of the bag and tried to quickly walk away trying my best to go un-noticed by them...boy was I wrong._

_A man walked out in front of me in the weirdest attire. It wasn't Halloween was it? A clown walked strangely towards me, it only took me a glance to know what he was after. A simple glance of seeing a strange man with clown-like make-up, unwashed-like green hair, green and purple suit (that strangely matched)..._

_A simple glance to see my worst nightmare come to life...I was being chased by a scary clown._

"_Hey toots, don't be a stranger will ya?" I kept on walking on, not meeting the clown's face._

"_..."_

"_Don't your parents teach you that uh...that you shouldn't walk away from a conversation?"_

_He blocked my path ahead of me. I turned away from him..._

"_My parents taught me not to talk to strangers, thank you very much."_

"_Apparently your parents didn't teach you well."_

_I walked the other way only to have his arms around my shoulders. My heart was racing from the fears..._

"_..." _

"_Hey, look at me when I'm speaking to ya."_

'_Let go of me...I already had my fair share of bad things happening to me today, I felt my headache coming back...why do I have to go through this now?'_

"_..."_

"_I SAID LOOK AT ME!"_

_Immediately I looked at him unable to hide the tears in my eyes. I couldn't see him well enough in the dark, but there was something there that didn't look right. I didn't want to look at my worst fear...I slowly felt my sickness giving way..._

"_Get away from me, I don't need another person right now making my life a living hell. Please do me a favour and leave me alone!"_

_I quickly pushed him away with all my strength and ran, I didn't know who this stranger was but I knew that I had to run to a safe place before my headache starts and faint in front of this clown._

_But it was too late..._

_As I pushed the man away from me and ran for it, it didn't take me long for him to grab me but before I knew what he was up to my headache increased and I fell into darkness..._

_-}:{-_

In a short four hours time, I had escaped my caged life like I had wanted years ago but only to discover the life 'outside' is so horrifying. To discover the harsh reality of love, the lies taught by my family, the unknown world of Gotham that is filled with criminal acts and...Well criminals themselves. But now I'm at my lowest point in life, what else can go wrong?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

**A/N: **Hey, I'm sorry for not putting up a **disclaimer** like other people...but I'm putting here so don't sue me! I'm just a poor high school student ;A; So yes, Batman and characters don't belong to me but the original and fantastic DC comics. And I'm sorry, I don't really like to put disclaimers on every chapter unless there is some law about this (which I don't know yet) then please tell me when you review! :3** Questions and reviews are greatly needed!** I mean I'm not going to explain everything about Natalie in detail in my stories (unless you ask) so please tell me when you start getting lost in this story. But of course these little author notes are directed to those who **actually read them! (which have already done so therefore get the secret stash of cookies called 'awesomeness')**


	3. Chapter 3

As I slowly slurred around the warm sheet on me and stretched into my wake, I felt the touch of bed sheets and pillows on my fingertips just like every morning. However something felt different as I stretched my left hand out of the bed and reach towards my clock only to find cold air touching my skin, I quickly shifted myself up and looked. It was only then did I realise that I was not in my room anymore, that only last night I became a homeless wonderer...but that didn't answer my question when I asked myself 'where am I?'

I looked around the room and saw what I thought to be considered as the world's ONLY colour clash themed room. Was I dreaming still? The purple and green striped wallpaper that strangely matched the same purple and green king size patterned bed, the red and black striped couch set under that elegantly styled red and black rug, even the strangely deep red-brown coloured wooden floor board. Everything clashed in colour, yet seemingly befitted to have an elegant and stylish worded praise. If this was a dream within a dream, I would have to deeply praise myself for being able to design this out-of-the-box styled room. But sadly I have to say this isn't another dream within dream I'm experiencing, which brings me up the same question for the second time 'where am I?'

Suddenly I felt a shiver and when I reached to hug myself I felt my skin touched. I immediately looked under the sheets, I was wearing nothing but my under garments. Wait...undergarments? I looked over the whole room but none of my clothes were... well present. I immediately slipped my head under the sheets and seen if I had 'sleep stripped'.

Unknown to me, a door had opened and entered the room and beneath the sheets until it was too late. His clown face made me jump when I crawled to the end of the bed where of course his scary face was. I took a better look of the strange makeup as it only resembled a clown but somehow amplified the intensity of his eyes with the black eye makeup. The two scars on each edge of his mouth intelligently covered with red paint created the most terrifying clown smile I've ever seen, I couldn't even tell the difference if he was truly smiling or if it was from the scars...but that didn't really make any difference in the way how I stiffly reacted.

"Boo."  
>SCREAM<p>

I immediately shuffled my body as back as I could from his face beneath the sheets and pulled the sheets under my legs so that there was no area for the scary man to lift the sheets up when I curled into a ball.

"HAHAHA, not only does my new kitten has a pair of strong lungs but also give the most amusing reactions..." I felt his body drop next to me on the bed, his breathing and eyes going through the sheets.  
>"...makes me wonder how this kitten is like in bed. Will she be nice..." My body easily turned when he pushed me to the side facing direct 'Oh God, this can't be happening...'<p>

He climbed onto me, perhaps smiling as his eyes was fed looking over my body and licked his lips. A cold shiver ran through me as my first instinct to escape was thrown away by his positioning onto me. My second instinct came into place, I was prepared for it...if I kept telling myself that. My mother had taught me one thing in life that was probably the most useful at this moment, _"Honey, if you're ever in a dangerous situation where someone is grabbing you. Remember to do three things. One: kicking, two: hitting and three: screaming preferably all at the same time. If you can't do any try leaning towards them and bite the hell out of them." _ 'sigh' Here goes nothing...

"...or feisty?" He grabbed my wrists and moved it up above my head, before I realise what was going on he had sat himself onto my stomach with his legs still in-between my body and forced his mouth close to mine. He licked my lips before he forcefully kissed me, my flight or fight response came and before I knew what I was exactly doing myself he had pulled back and jumped up and down in excitement... crushing me as he did so while giving a horrible laugh.

I saw the sight of red liquid falling down his lips, and then I felt the same substance that had stained onto my lips falling down towards my neck...I had bitten this man.

Shock had struck onto me as I was too lost for any proper thinking and I reached towards my lips refusing to believe I had struck blood to anyone and looked at my fingertips that were slightly stained with his blood. But slowly my eyes became too teary and someone had already grasped my wrist and lifted it above my head to meet my other wrist, 'when did he let go?'

"Feisty it is! I seem to always pick the crazy ones, but don't worry you probably belong in the good in bed crazy ones!"

My eyes were too watery so I closed my eyes and turned away from his face, I had enough of this clown. Wasn't it obvious to him I'm scared of him? Isn't a clown suppose to be funny and all try to make people laugh, or something along those lines? Oh who am I kidding! This man probably isn't a real clown, he seems crazy...and on top of that he is going to rape me. Yes, I was going to get raped within minutes by a man who I don't even know the name of and looks like a killer clown. Someone that's going to do this to me other than James (A/N: the teacher she had an affair with). I could feel my heart aching just thinking of his name. I was stupid indeed, giving my first time to him when he didn't even truly love me. He just wanted a good...fuck. Yes, a good fuck. It couldn't even be called 'making love' or deserved the word 'sex', it was just that low. So I whored myself to him and I guess it's better to say I'm pretty much a worthless being now. So being the worthless person I am, getting raped by some stranger and probably getting killed after doing it by the same person (like how movies depicted such 'situations'), it wasn't going to get any worse than that right? If that's going to happen to me, then all I can say is that it was my fate and I honestly deserved any bad thing coming my way...Even if my whole life was trying to live up to everyone's expectations and make them happy by following their beliefs, their rules...I should've known better, perhaps in my next life I would become a stronger willed person to my own views.

"Just get on with it already and do it, you're going to kill me after this so why even bother?"

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

**A/N: **Sorry for taking so much space this chapter but I just wanted to do a thank you corner to my lovely readers ^^. I know I should have done it last chapter ago so I would have deserved it if you guys don't review me for a few chapters (but please just a few because after that I might suffer lack-of-review-then-go-on-hiatus, but no one wants that right? I'll try my best not to though ^^)

Also making a note that I know **I'm bad at portraying Natalie** but I just want everyone to see that she didn't really love James but just had a teacher-crush and was going through a teenage hormonal phase and wanted to push the boundaries so that she felt her life was 'in-control'...so much for that.

Thank you **Joy**, **XPsychoBabyDollX**, **RUBIKA666**, **Cyna** and **Kiss The Stars With Me. **It's nice to find people acting like editors and wishing you would hurry up on posting the next chapter right?

To the person that decided to review as '**anonymous**' the whole kidnapping thing was very new to me and after reading so many stories by other authors I decided that I might get some people to review and notice these little changes and differences ^^ ...so much appreciated! Now I'm just scared after this chapter will the storyline turn sloppy and result in me going 'THAT'S IT I'M GOING ON HIATUS' or something like that :P

**Lorna Roxen**: " I think you'll stop reading my stories in a couple more chapters because I keep on unconsciously leaving cliff hangers in almost anything I write (even for my school work XD )

** XPsychoBabyDollX**: sorry just had to put your name twice for being such an active reviewer! **+2 in awesomeness** Ahhh, never thought this early on the story I get favourite-d ^^ Hope I won't disappoint you *unless you have super high expectations*  
>*~Please continue to support this poor author ~* <strong>Awesomeness to all who reviews 3 <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

When those words left my mouth, I realised I had actually chosen my fate. All of a sudden the overwhelming amount of feelings and negative thoughts that was there just a few moments ago...that baggage, had now disappeared. The thoughts and feelings of fear in clowns, the frustration of being in this unusual kidnapping/rape/kill situation, the humiliation of being exploited by a criminal clown as he soon rapes my sanity away, the anger towards this clown dressed criminal and how my life is falling apart so quickly, the sadness that I had been used by James despite my family's warning , the self-loathing as I depict myself as a worthless being/cheap whore that breaks families apart and the lack of will in living after realising how my life was going to end...I had ended up word vomiting those unbelievable words.

Unbelievable in the fact that I made it sound like the whole raping and being killed fate seem trivial compared to what I had experienced in the past 24 hours. But death was always a big deal. Even at a young age I had always wanted a short and painless death, ultimately dying from old age as far I knew about good ways of dying. It would be the 'happy' way to leave this world, but since I was going to die most likely raped until this clown have finished satisfied his 'urges' and kill me in a long painful death. It was useless to fight and make this suffering longer...I might as well plead him to just go through the whole experience without the further torment, so I won't have to experience it more than necessary.

Why would I presume this kind of thing happening to me? It was simple... my knowledge of criminals had always lied in the fictional characters of criminals that were portrayed in novels and movies. It couldn't be much different right? The ideas of criminals becoming who they are simply because they enjoy the ideas of bringing pain onto people...making themselves feel powerful and God-like in the matter of controlling someone's life...that particular recurring theme in many novels and movies. Their grotesque way of having 'fun', enjoying the pain of the victim beyond they could take as a limit and then finally finishing their victims slowly just to watch their victim's last expression of pain longer before death. I know it seems far-fetched, but seeing as what I had experienced in the past 24 hours I have to presume for the worst.

Staring into those piercing brown eyes that were near black from his eye makeup, I cleared my throat. I had no idea how he would take my unexpected word vomit and my actions...but I was soon going to know...

" *laughs* You sure are fun to be with!" I watched as he leaned closer over my shoulder.  
>"I've decided you are too fun to be thrown away, so you are ..." I could hear his loud whisper in my ear and the sound of his tongue running through his lips before he licked mine.<br>"...y-you are going to stay and become my pet." He bit my ear lobe before letting go swiftly.

Before I could react to what he had said, the man left the room with that smile on his face...

Who exactly is this man?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

**A/N: **Sorry this is a short update, I just want to get something posted this week before I announce my writer's block =.=" When I was writing this I experienced the tip-of-the-tongue word problem, even now I don't know what the word is besides starting with the letter 'i' and an example of this word in life is let's say...forgot their lines in a play and doing something they made up in their mind on the spot to cover their mistake. If anyone knows what this word is could you please tell me? I couldn't sleep last night at all because I was trying to recall that particular word. Yes, I wrote this at 3 in the morning. ;A;

Special thanks to **Kiss The Stars With Me, Dissolved Starr, ILoveMistahJ **and** bellac611 **for the pressuring me to update quickly (was thinking I should do this chapter in the weekend) so updating 3-4 days earlier! **+1 awesomeness**

Special thanks to **XPsychoBabyDollX -**it's nice to hear from people that point out things in the story. To be honest the whole teacher-student thing is something I want to go into details later in the story so **chapter 3 isn't going to be the last mention of Mr. James Adams! **I am rushing myself for another update in the weekend because I am the type of person that likes to read fan fiction that has at **least 10 chapters posted already *so that's my goal by the end of August* Wish me luck** XD

And another special thanks to **Feels-Like-Paradise** – thank you, even I can't believe I got so many favourites, alerts, views and reviews in such a short time...I'm still very insecure about the dialogue, you'll probably see some changes in the type of dialogue I use because I wanted to show the pace of what's happening to Natalie as best as possible throughout the story. I want to keep Natalie as a continuously developing character unlike other JokerXOC stories which readers can much too easily grasp their personality of. I want to keep a certain originality in my characters...what that originality is though, you'll have to read on :3

I'll make sure I update a longer chapter than this one, I just couldn't help but stop at that perfect moment. And for my lovely readers, I have placed a poll in my profile on whether or not I should give Bruce/Batman a chance of appearing the fanfic. It'll be on for a couple of weeks, so start voting!

Thank you for reading yet another chapter of **A darker love. +3 awesomeness **to all those who reviewed, favourite-d, alerted and read ^^


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